the worm hole
Driving home one day, me and the boys, (Jake, Jed and Red) Red was in the back, the bed of the truck, because he likes to hang out the side and drool. When we came across Miss. Milly’s pasture and there along the fence line was this enormous hole in the ground, so we stopped, pondered, peered and come to some pretty far-fetch conclusions as to what caused this hole in the ground.
Now our first thought was it was rooted up by a ditch digger-back-hoe, or perhaps Miss Milly was putting in a sippin’ pond for her cattle, Ever body knows Miss Milly has the best milking’ cows this side of the river. But we found no evidence of tracks, or piles of dirt or any reason to believe this was man made. In fact that was when Jake (the smartest one of the three of us, cause he made it to the tenth grade before he dropped out of school) Jake caught us all by surprise when he spat the words, that, “this might just be a worm hole.”
“A what?” I had to beg to differ because I’ve dug up worms for fishing before and this hole was big enough to drive the truck into.
“A worm hole!” Jake said, “There are these giant worms in space that make worm holes. I read about them in school.” He stated excitedly, as if he had discovered a lost city. “These worm holes are said the go from planet to planet.
We all looked at this hole in the earth and my first thought was, “How big are these worms,” cause this hole was huge. I mean, if this worm is as big as the hole, it is huge. That made me think, then how big are space fish? Just about that time we heard this awful moan from the depths of this worm hole that sent ole’ Red to barking as if he’d tree’d a coon. We stood on the edge of this worm hole, the four of us and looked straight down into it. I swear if I had a pair of binoculars, I could see china.
Then came another ghastly moan from the depths of this worm hole and that’s when Jed got the bright idea, “Lets capture this beast. Think of how much money we could make. Hell, we might even make the front page of the news paper. Hell we catch alligators all the time how hard could it be to catch a worm?””
“Or we could get put on ‘Jerry Springer.'” Thats when we ran back to the truck and got the wench, a net (our fishing net) and Jake’s tranquilizer pistol (don’t ask why he had one, just go with the story) We rigged up the wench and net. Jake volunteered to go down, shoot the tranquilizer gun and tie the net around this space worm. I mean how hard could it be, a worm don’t got no arms or legs, right? We started lowering big Jake down this worm hole when we heard the moans and grones of this space worm and that’s when I wondered if we’d ever see Ole Jake again as he sank into this abyss.
We had the wench lowering and lowering when we heard all the commotion, Jake yelled something, the space worm let out a mighty scream and the cable swung back and forth like crazy. “Up, up… pull me up,” we heard Jake call out. His words were as faint as a nat’s whisper but we knew what to do, so we began hoisting them up. Now I ain’t sure what the rating for weight on this wench is but it was bucking and screeching from a heavy load on the other end of this cable. “This space worm must be huge,” Jed said.
That was about the time Sheriff Reynolds pulled up, “What you boys up to?” He asked. We must have sounded like a pack of chattering monkeys, trying to explain to him ‘we have caught us a space worm’ that had made a huge worm hole in the earth and we had just captured it and were going to be rich. Well Sheriff Reynolds laughed so hard he just about lost his lunch. Slapping his knee as if he was at the Saturday night hoe-down. That was when I asked, “what’s so funny?”
The wench jerked and the cable swung back and forth as if this space worm was not happy about being captured and pulled into the light of day. They probably prefer the dark, down in some hole but we got’em by golly. Up from the worm hole came Jake and the net. The Sheriff bellowed out a laugh as he steadied the cable and up from this worm hole came Jake, who was passed out cause he had accidentally shot himself in the leg with the tranquilizer gun and in the net….
…was Miss Milly’s milk cow, ‘Marble.’ The Sheriff explained to us that he came to a response call that there was a sink hole out here. We got Miss Milly’s cow loose from the net and she took off like a rocket into outer space. The Sheriff roped off the sink hole with bright yellow ribbon and we took Jake to the clinic where he finally woke up. He was really disappointed that the space worm turned out to be Miss Milly’s milk cow but we all got a shock when we made the front page of the local paper the next day for saving Miss Milly’s prize milk cow, from ‘a worm hole.’