Turnip green sandwich

I was at work, (my second job) preparing to go to the big ‘shitty’ of Houston. We were taking a load of cabinets to install and would be gone for the better part of the day, so I made a lunch. I had my lunch box (a small ice cooler) in the truck, when ‘tug boat Pete’ asked if I had room in my cooler for his sandwiches. “Sure!” I replied and he passed them to me and in the cooler they went.

Now we call him ‘tug boat Pete’ because he use to work on the tug boats till the recession crunch came and now you’ve got people fishing for jobs during the day and fishing for fish at night in order to feed their family. I joked with Pete about doing some lunch swapping. “Whatcha’ got to trade,” I asked.

Pete replied, “Turnip-green sandwiches,” and I died laughing. Well times must really be tough when you gotta eat a turnip-green sandwich. Pete insisted that it wasn’t cause he had to eat it, he explained that he thoroughly enjoyed turnip-greens. Not me, my wife has to darn near trick me into eating grass. (vegetables) Matter fact we make fun of that commercial where they got numbers over their heads for drinking vegetables. I would eat a ‘brusel sprout’ and hold four fingers over my head.


But any way, back to tug boat Pete’s turnip-green sandwich. I had gotten hungry and dipped into my lunch box and began to eat. Sgt. Dudley was letting out gas like an oil refinery and we were trying to escape the fall-out when I realized, I had just taken a bite of a turnip-green sandwich and I began to turn green. There I was in the big ‘shitty’ (city) with a load of greens in my mouth that might as well have been spinach cause I was spewing this out like bad words. Now, I know I make up a lot of stuff writing funny little stories that are make believe, but this time, I ain’t a lying. Tug boat Pete got his sandwich back and told me he was headed home for some ‘chicken fried bologna’ and I was amazed at what these tug boat folks put into their digestive system.


Another strange combination that I do like is summer-sausage and vanilla wafers, it has a flavor of pancakes, syrup and pan sausage. But, turnip-green sandwich? I’ll pass on that. We laughed nearly all the way back to the river and every time Sgt. Dudley let one out we blamed it on the turnip-green sandwich. Tug boat Pete, tends a mighty fine garden but I am darn sure glad I ain’t one of his kin when it comes to meal time.


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