Dogs are spies… cats work for the IRS

 

Dad’gum dogs! Why do they go and get a drink of water then come and lick you on the arm, leg or feet? It’s like a flavor savor or a way to add to the flavor of the water? All the while drooling droplets on the skin. I know it might be the salt on our bodies but dad’nab’it, it is as though they don’t have a hand towel laying around for them so they use humans to wipe their face. Use the carpet for goodness sake.

I’ll be laying on the couch and I know this dog (schnauzer/ my little girls new dog)  sits there and watching the way I breathe. The minute it suspects that I am between reality and dreams it will come up and poke its cold wet nose on an exposed part of the body. What’s up with that? If I didn’t know any better I’d say it is a left over tactic from the cold war. Dogs are taught this as a cold war tactic, cold noses and all.

That means we take these cute little fur balls into are home and they are really spies, gathering Intel for the canine world to dominate our bacon? That would be a possibility but then who would drive the cars so they could chase the tires? Or throw the ball so they could retrieve it.

And cats…OMG, what is up with cats following you to the bathroom for pets. It’s like, “I’ve got you now, your not going anywhere for a few minutes, “pet me.” Or, I’ll be in the kitchen, trying to cook and it will do the leg crazy eight. Weaving in and out of the legs, rubbing up against me like I just opened a can of tuna. Maybe they are secretly taking notes on what we eat. Telexing info to the IRS. “Hey, these jerks are poor they don’t eat steaks they eat to much chicken, hamburger helper and tuna helper/ beans and rice,….

 or…….shepherds pie, yummy.

Well, I was just venting, since the dog won’t let me nap. You put the dog in another room it starts ‘yapping’ and then the cat ‘meows’ telling the dog to hush. I am about an inch worm away from getting one of those collars that ZAP’em when they bark (not really) but the Cayenne pepper and peanut butter keeps ’em busy for a little while. (grinin)

here’s a little dilly I found yesterday that gave me a chuckle….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I
owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article
from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein
you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six
(6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 ” Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5″ Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

 Sincerely,

 A Satisfied Taxpayer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wait till their asleep then….                              …gitty up George!

Maybe I can get a belly rub….                dog and kitten, camouflage/spy training

cat and computer mouse?           “maybe if I disable this device with pee, I’ll get pets”

what do I think about space flight!

have a quality day!

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