Mom’s are great. Their like an island in an ocean world. I found this little joke yesterday and thought I’d share it, called; For Mom. But first let me tell you about a day I recall with my Mom.
When I was younger we use to make trips to see my grandparents in Canyon, TX outside Amarillo. Any where you drive in Texas is a long ways. Me being about 9 or 10, I had a small bladder. I told my Mother I had to ‘go’ and she didn’t want to stop because it was a long way and she wasn’t going to stop every hour to pee, so, she told me get in the back seat and pee in a coke bottle, (yeah, I’m old enough that back then they used real glass coke bottles, grinin)
Well I was new to this coke bottle peeing thing and just couldn’t figure out how I was suppose to hit this little bitty hole with a gushing stream. It was snowing and my mother asked if I’d rather stand in 6’ft of snow and of course I declined, “I’ll figure it out.” I said.
When we got to Amarillo and were unloading the car I heard this horrific scream and of course my mother yells out my name. You know your in trouble when they use your full name, all three, first middle and last. I had a decision to make, run for the Mexican border in 5-6ft of snow or go and see what she wanted. I chose the later. When I got to where she was standing, which was the back seat of the car, she asked, “Whats this?”
“I don’t know, but it made a really good funnel for when I had to pee!” I replied. She had a hold of this garment like a woman would hold out a mouse by the tail. Like she had a poopy diaper or something. Well it was wet with pee after all. I had found a Bra and poked a hole in it, making a funnel. Good idea huh!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks: “Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”
“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!”
“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious.”
Have a Quality day!
always, fishin’ for chuckles