shopping day

Mt Rushmore, from the Canadians side…

Yesterday was shopping day, for our family. Of course that means a trip to the local Wal-mart. In the store they were selling the football ‘NFL’ blankets. They had ‘of course’  the Dallas Cowboys blankets for sale. My wife bellows out, “Aren’t they afraid that the blankets might choke who ever wears them.” Of course she is implying that the Cowboys always choke, “Chooookkkking,” seams to be their trademark recently.

My daughter had gotten a toy, (the bribe to make her behave, do good in school, clean her room and a long list of things to do for one toy). While reading the instructions, my wife says, “Hey, this is a first, it is made in Greece… (rather than being made in China or Taiwan.) Of course I replied with a funny, “What kind of grease?” While my wife and I chuckle about this, my daughter goes, “oooooh, what kind of grease, pig grease, cow grease…” We all laughed.

Well, shopping day always means a trip to a restaurant. This time it was The China Buffet, where you eat till you hurt for one hour then two hours later your hungry again. This comes from a 135 lb man (me) who generally eats like a bird, ten times a day, amounting to barely enough to keep a tea cup  Chihuahua alive. Well, my daughter got some crawfish and out of a joke I had told her she needed to suck the head. Yep, she did, “ooooohhh, that’s nasty!”

and when we got home. My daughter’s new schnauzer, ‘princess,’ had dug out the shopping bags, (you know, the plastic bags you save after shopping to use later for trash and what-not.) We figured it must have been mad because we didn’t  bring her home any crawfish heads or toys made with ‘Greece.’

Believe it or not these bags are kept under the sink, this dog figured out how to open the cabinet door and dig these bags out. I joke that it was looking for a bag to put its toys and bones in so it could run away only we came home before it packed.

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here’s a cute one for shopping day!

 

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida)

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

 It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable.

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shopping humor

remember…while shopping, be

fishin for chuckles!

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