(this picture drawn by Art~)
One morning, a father and his young son were in the forest hunting rabbits. After about an hour, they finally came across some rabbit tracks. In between the tracks, there were these little round brown pellets, and the son said to his father, “Dad, what are those?”
The father replied, “Those are smart pills. Try a couple.” So the kid grabbed a couple of them and put them in his mouth. The boy made a funny face and said to his dad, “Ewww! Yuk! They taste like s**t.”
The father replied, “See, you’re getting smarter already.”
A married couple went on a fishing trip. The husband went out on the lake with his boat and equipment, while the wife took a nap in the cabin. Later that afternoon, the husband returns to take a nap. So, the wife takes the boat to the middle of the lake, takes out a book and starts reading.
After a while a game warden comes along in his boat and tells her that she is in a restricted fishing area. She says that she is not fishing, just reading a book.
“But, you have all this fishing equipment, so I will have to fine you.” said the game warden.
She replied, “Do that, and I’ll have you arrested for rape.”
“But lady! I haven’t touched you!” exclaimed the game warden.
At which she replied, “Yes. But, YOU have all the right equipment.”
A farmer was having problems with a bear climbing up his tree in the back yard, so he hired this guy who came very highly recommended to catch the bear.
The hunter came with a shotgun, rope, and a small dog. He gave the shotgun to the farmer and said, “Stay down here and I’ll climb the tree, and shake the branches. When the bear falls, my dog will bite on his nuts, and while the bear is in agony, I’ll come down and tie him up with the rope. Okay?”
The farmer nodded his head and asked, “But what is the shotgun for?”
The hunter replied, “Well, sometimes I fall off the tree. In that case, shoot the dog – fast!”