the Pecker Inspector



Woody Woodrow
the Pecker Inspector
knows all there is to know
about peckers.
With his magnifying glass
bent over
with a pouched out ass.
the hard stiff wood
with his pointer
poking at the tiny hole.
Then demanding
another load.

Some say Woody
has a thing for peckers.
Been pecked himself
I suppose.
But to the head he leans and stares.
Gives the stiff wood
a glare.
Then his hands raised in the air.
“Hold the load”
he shouted “There.”
Pointed his finger at a hole.
Seeping, slimey, sappy, goo!
Drip down the hard wood.

A bunch of pecker heads
gathered round.
While Woody Woodrow
leaned way down,
Then he came
up in a gush.
“This pussy willow’s
been pecked by peckers.”
He reached in his coat
and pulled out a stamp
of black and yellow checkered

Woody ‘stamped’
the wood condemned
Then pushed his way through
the small crowd of workmen.
“Back to inspecting again?”
Woody had a rather big grin.
Walking towards a pile
of Double Decker’s
Woody Woodrow
the wood pecker


by Art~


Back when my mother had her first heart surgery, I went to stay with her for a few weeks, till she got healed. The neighbors house, down the road, was more a weekend house and it was winter/fall so nobody rarely came out. My mother was ordered to take little walks to heal and she saw a bunch of holes in the neighbors house and called the law, thinking ‘weekenders’ (city folk/ their mischivious as a coon on a full moon) had come and shot holes in this house.

 That’s usually what city folk do, come to the country, to shoot their fire-arms and they tend to have an itchy finger. Well, the sheriff shows up and laughs, it turns out that this wooden house had been attacked by a family of woodpeckers. This wooden house was riddled with holes. Wood peckers… they are as mischievious as them darn weekenders.

My step-father (god rest his soul) called them weekenders; tin canners/ cause they would come up on weekends with cases and cases of beer and sodas and just toss them where ever they wanted. On mondays when you went down river, you could pick up several dollars worth of aluminum cans left by the tin-canners (weekenders/ city folk) Trashy folk them weekenders, they make trailer park trash look like hollywood.

Most folk that live on the river only go out on week days when the river is calm, quiet and secluded. The weekend usually has a lot of city folk up for a weekend in the wild, driving like crazy in speed boats that go back and forth as fast as deer running across the road. It would be hard to enjoy the country scene driving by at lightening speeds. Sort of like driving through the mountains, looking out the window. A long walk in the woods is the best way to absorb nature; that’s my opinion of course.

Gotta go, some one is knocking on the door; aww it’s just a woodpecker (grinin’)


have a ‘tall-timber’ day



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