cafe humor

I loved the movie, ‘Fish don’t blink’ where Charlie, (the catfish) is in a large aquarium in the diner. If you can make the fish blink, you get a free meal.

but Charlie (the fish blinks) and the guy who made him blink gets a free meal. The owner reluctant to believe it, concedes and gives him a meal.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man goes into a café and asked, “What’s the special today?”

The waitress replied, “Tongue sandwich.”

“Oh No,” The man replied, “I am not eating anything that came out of an animal’s mouth.” The man looks at the menu for a moment then orders, “I’ll have two eggs, over easy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dumb New Hampshire Law

You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or café.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You’d think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said “pet supplies.” So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said “compact cars”…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cat without coffee

What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!

(25 May 1999, Ukraine) A fisherman in Kiev electrocuted himself while fishing in the river Tereblya. The 43-year-old man connected cables to the main power supply of his home, and trailed the end into the river. The electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the water. The man waded in to collect his catch, neglecting to remove the live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish. In an ironic twist, the man was fishing for a mourning meal to commemorate the first anniversary of his mother-in-law’s death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.

As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.

The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.”

have a super day

 

Advertisements

One response to “cafe humor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s