Holy Moly it’s Sunday

 
 
 
Holy Moly it’s Sunday
 
Most folk will probably be going to church today. I will be going to work. I usually go fishing because I find that being out in nature is like spending time in heaven and there-fore I call it my sunday school.
 
I do recall a funny that the preacher had told us when we took the kids to the Baptist Church down the road. He had told us about how he and his brother fought all the time like brothers do. And when they got a little older, in their teens the fights got more intense.
 
One day he and his brother had gotten into a fight and their mother went to break it up and she told them that if they didn’t stop fighting she was going to make them kiss and make up, by this she said she will have them kiss on the lips. Well, the preacher said from then on he and his brother never fist fought again.
 
I tried this with my kids and it works breaking them up but they seem to end up fighting now and again, like boys do.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So, she holds up a hand and says, “ACTS 2:38!”

The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: “How did you do this?”

The woman replied, “I quoted scripture.” The cop turned to the burglar and asked, “What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?”

The burglar replied, “Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an ax and two 38’s.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Viet Nam war. Could you help me?”

“Of course my son,” Jesus said. When Jesus touched the man’s back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.

The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man’s glasses and tossed them in the lake. When the glasses hit the water, the man’s eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.

When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, “Don’t touch me! I’m on long-term disability.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 don’t forget to laugh at life…

 

Have a humorous day

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s