John Wayne

John Wayne

Born: 1907  ……Died: 1979

My step father use to do John Wayne impressions. He was really good at this, mainly due to the fact he looked and walked like the movie star already. I remember the one line he always use to say, in his John Wayne voice…

“Gotta go down to the corral and wrestle me a grizzly and kiss me a pretty girl. I hope I don’t get them mixed up this time.” As kids we would laugh loudly and encourage him to do more.

My wife and I watched Mclintock the other day and we laughed at the part where John Wayne chased his wife all over town to spank her into submission. He catches her and draws a hand back to spank her and some one grabs his hand to stop him… only to place a scoop in his hand to paddle her with.

well, look what I found… this is the funny part (grin)

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John Wayne Toilet Paper

  An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.
“White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper,” says the Indian. “How much is it?”
“$1.00 a roll,” the clerk replies.
“That seems pretty expensive,” responds the Indian. “What about the others?”
“Charmin is $2.00 a roll and no name is 50 cents a roll.”
The Indian doesn’t have much money so he opts for the no name.
Within a few hours he is back at the trading post. “I have a name for the no name toilet paper,” he announces to the clerk. “We shall call it John Wayne.”
“Why?” asks the confused clerk.
“Cause it’s rough and it’s tough and it don’t take no crap off an Indian.”

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I found these ‘John Wayne’ quotes

If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

***

I stick to simple themes. Love. Hate. No nuances. I stay away from psychoanalyst’s couch scenes. Couches are good for one thing.

***

I’ve always followed my father’s advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.

***

Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.

***

I never trust a man that doesn’t drink.

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“I’m John Wayne at the first thanksgiving, PILGRAMS! happy thanksgiving, PILGRAMS!”

 (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – Reportedly he used the expression “Pilgrim”, as in “tenderfoot” or “dude” or “amateur”, 23 times in that film. It became a catchphrase for impressionists such as John Byner, and Rich Little)

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Mrs. John Wayne Bobbit was driving along when she threw her husbands dink out the window. Two guys were driving behind her when it suddenly landed on their windshield. One guy says to the other “Did you see that misquito.” and the other guy says “Misquito nothing, did you see the size of his DINK.”

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….a man has got to have a code, a creed to live by….

have a memorable day


 

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