the bar #2

okay, I found quite a few bar jokes while fishing for chuckles, the funny thing is alot of them aren’t funny. It is like they made up the jokes while drunk and didn’t check them out sober to see if they were any good (grin) a lot of things are funny when your drinking.

I remember a long time ago we left the bar and went to McDonald’s to get a bite to eat which is a good recipe for helping the hang over. We got our food and we got one of those scratch things that you scratch and it tells you if your a winner or not. I scratched mine and it said I won one million dollars. I was ecstatic. We went over to a friends house and celebrated. His wife woke up a little upset with us for waking her up at 2 am, until I showed her the scratch thingy that said I was a million-aire.

Of course she was sober and read the fine print; “Winner, to be put into a drawing for one million dollars,: A DRAWING? What the hell! I did as the instructions imposed the next day when I was sober. But I never heard back from them and I haven’t eaten at McDonald’s since. Of course that was back when the food was real.

Now, My wife ate there the other day for the first time in a long time because our lil girl wanted a happy meal. My wife was sitting on dear ole john for the rest of the night. It is like Mexico, they say don’t drink the water, cause you haven’t built up an immunity to the bacteria, it is the same with Mickey D’s. (my opinion of course) ….just clowning around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar, and sees his best friend sitting there, getting drunk.

When he asks what the problem is, the friend says “When I make love to my wife, she just lays there. I’ve tried everything, but she doesn’t moan, doesn’t scream, doesn’t even move”

The guy pats his friend on the back and says “Yeah, she does that with me, too.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodkas.”

The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

“Yeah, my wife…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

have a fantastically funny day

 

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