Presents

Holy Moly did you see all the fights that went on during black friday. I assume that like my wife they were doing christmas shopping. What away to start off the christmas season, with a black eye. My wife went to Wal-mart and there were two fights, one was over the 6.00 sheets and the other was over 1.99 movies. What the hell.

I remember getting a car that had a ballon attached that you blew up the ballon and it made the car go. Now that was back when this type of present was awesome. Now-a-days the presents are Ipads and computer games or helicopters that fly. We have come along way with technology. But have gotten farther away from what christmas is really about.

Every year, I still make hand-made presents. They are cool little trinkets that the kids love. Like one year I made them all (neices and nephews to) pet rocks. Another year I made pendants that had pictures of the twilight characters in them. Just a little something to keep the true meaning of christmas alive. Of course it was the expensive gifts that catch their eye, But they all know by now, Uncle Art is going to make them something for christmas.

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A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom’s and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note :

“I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with thembefore I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!

All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”

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I am nearly bald. This Christmas, could you please send me something to keep my hair in.Father Christmas: Send him a paper bag, and a comb; I’ll bet he never parts with it!

Can I have a puppy for Christmas?
Certainly not. You can have turkey like everybody else!

Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes?
Father Christmas: Can’t do that one. He hasn’t said what size his crocodile takes!

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happy holidays

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