But Officer…

 Being a Correctional Officer myself, I have to say, “there is humor in everything,” and then there is being serious. But for this post’s purpose, I will highlight humor. I have the utmost respect for law enforcement, these guys put their life on the line to keep communities safe, and you can argue the revenue factor all you want. (grin)

I remember taking a trip to my Aunt and Uncle’s in Bellville, Texas. A friend and I (Mark) were coming back from Bellville when the car (Plymouth Barracuda) over-heated. It was night and on a country road, out in the middle of no-where. The cars that went by were few and far between.

We tried to pee in the radiator (the car needed water) and looked around but there was no water any where and no homes to be seen for as far as we could see. We got the bright idea to stop the next car that went by, but that didn’t work. We appeared desperate and the car sped off.

So, the next car that went by, Mark laid down on the ground and I took the tire iron and acted like I was beating him. The car slowed but then took off. (Oh yeah, this was long before cell phones) but we did this a couple of times and that didn’t work. The next thing we know the police pull up and jump out with guns drawn and telling us to get on the ground and lock our fingers behind our heads, arrested.

Well, I was probably seventeen, we were taken to the police station in Waller, Texas and my parents were called. It took awhile for them to come to this little town and get us. We had finally convinced the police we were only trying to get someone to stop. But when my Mom arrived, we were saved. We go out of jail with no problem and went home. The next day we went and got the car with lots of water, just in case. But I learned my lesson about acting out, (grin) and you can’t fill a radiator by pissing in it.

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A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!”

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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

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have a safe and humorous day

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