hillbilly’s

I have found myself using the term, “I may be a redneck, but I am not a dumb ass,” a lot lately. I made this up as I found ‘inmates’ testing my awareness or trying to get something over on me. I know the growing use of the term red neck was spurred by Jeff Foxworthy. I suppose the elders would relate this to Hillbilly’s. Or even older would use Pollock.

I met a family of Hillbillies recently, it amazed me how ‘the apple didn’t fall far from the tree’ is so true. I suppose we are all a direct result of our up bringing. I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad. I suppose they were happy, living in a tent while visiting a family member so far from home. Like a nomad or Indians, pitch a tent and stay awhile till the food runs out then move on.

I always liked the Beverly Hillbillies, with Ole Jed Clampit and Granny. I like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy. I have said this many times, that since I was born in Japan and live in Texas, I am a rare breed, a Japanese-redneck.

I remember hunting with my father-in-law, when we first met. Out in the boat, shot-guns in hand. In the middle of no-where. I was talking about some body (I don’t recall who) and mentioned they were dumber than a rock. I said, “He must be from Arkansas. Cause the farther east you go the dumber people are (not really, it is just a saying I picked up in California) My father-in-law didn’t laugh… so I had to ask, “Where you from?”

“Arkansas,” he replied. I nearly died. He is a very understanding and humorous man. We get along great but I did put my foot in my mouth the first day we spent out together. Thank God he is a forgiving man. (grin)

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Hi everybody!  I just got a letter from my Maw and I thought
you’d like to read it.

Dear Son,

Your Pa has a new job.  The first in 48 years.  We are a little
better off now, getting $17.96 every Thursday.  So we up and thought
we’d do a little fixing up.  We sent to Rosemont and Seasbuck for one
of them there bathrooms you hear so much about and it took a plumber
to put it in shape.

  On one side of the room is a great big long thing, something like
the hogs drink out of, only you get in it and wash all over.  Over
on the other side is a little white thing called a sink, this is for
light washing, like face and hands, but over in the other corner we
really got something.

  There you put one foot in, wash it clean, pull a chain and get
fresh water for the other foot.  Two lids come with the darn thing
and we ain’t had any use for them in the bathroom, so I’m using one
for a bread board and the other we framed grandmother’s picture in.
They were awful nice people to deal with and they sent us a roll
of writing paper with it.

Take care of yourself son.

Your Maw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Is The Difference Between A Yankee Zoo And A Redneck Zoo?
On The Cage, In A Yankee Zoo, It Will Have The Name Of The Animal
And The Scientific Name. A Southern Zoo Will Have The Name Of The
Animal And The Recipe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Typical Redneck Family Tree

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is now my mother’s mother and it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she’s my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
If it had been  invented anyplace else, it would have
been called a teethbrush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 


have a humorous day

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