testicle festival

“What?” When I saw this I had to look twice. I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I had to check it out. Come to find out there is one in Oakland, Nebraska, Missouri, Minnesota and all over. It seems that there is a festival to celebrate Turkey balls, Bull balls and even sheep balls.

I’ve heard of “rocky mountain oysters,” but haven’t tried them, but obviously they are a delight to some. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I am guessing that “Elaina Bobbit” is employed at one of these.

Wikipedia….

A Testicle Festival is an event held at several small towns in which the featured activity is the consumption of testicles, usually battered and fried. The oldest such festival takes place in Byron, Illinois, and features turkey testicles. But similar festivals are held in Oakdale, California, Huntley, Illinois, and Missoula, Montana, some of which feature other types of testicles, such as the Oakdale festival, which features bull testicles.

….did they say…battered??? “ouch!”  I have heard women moan and complain about their monthly cycle. Let me tell you that when a man has large ‘testicles’ he often forgets and sits on them. Let me tell you from experience, it is not something you would want to experience.

(O_O) Testicle‑festival‑Oysters1.jpg  (“oh my”)

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Two Amish women are harvesting potatoes. One of the women has two potatoes in her hands. She looks at the other woman and says, “These potatoes remind me of my husband’s testicles.”

The other woman asks, “Are his testicles that big?”

“No,” she says with a sigh. “They’re that dirty.”

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The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.

The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.

The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. “Aha!” mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. “Aha!” said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the rightside… then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.

The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.

The doctor said, “How does that feel now?”

The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didn’t even feel it. What did you do?”

The doctor replied “I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.”

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A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him.

The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy faints.

The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, “What’s wrong with you?”

The small guy says, “Excuse me, but what did you say?”

The big dude looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Thank God! I thought you said ‘Turn around’.”

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A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo (a cuddly toy which laughs when tickled) factory. The Personnel Manager explains her duties and tells her to report to work promptly at 8.00am.

The next day at 8.45am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the Personnel Manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.

Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman and says “I am sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday, I said, your job is to give Elmo “two test tickles”.

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…………………………..ooops, somebody snipped here, stop eating.

hope your day is not “testy”

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