wooden floors

I was putting in a wooden floor in a friend of mines house this last weekend. We did the whole living room and then took a break, to finish the rest the next day. I took my lil girl with me the next day and we walked into the house. She noticed right away that the carpet was gone. I told her I put the wood in the floor. She looked puzzled. She looked at the door then at the floor and then at me.

“How did you get the wood through the door?” She asked. She thought it was all one piece. She didn’t realize the wooden floor was put in one board at a time, she thought we some how carried the whole floor into the house and layed it down.

I did not know I had the ability to invent words… when I hit my finger with the hammer!


Q: How did Pinocchio find out that he was made of wood?

A: His hand caught on fire.


Why are husbands like hard wood flooring?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them.


A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several
pieces of wood.
First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, “That’s maple.”

They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly.
He did this with ever piece of wood they brought before him.
The bartender then got an idea to trick him. And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose.

He sniffed for a while. “Boy,” he said “this is difficult, flip that board over and let me smell the other side.”
So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose.
He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, “You guys can’t fool me! That is the shit house door from a tuna boat!”


have a good day


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