time out

Growing up, I can’t ever recall being spanked by my mother, (THAT WAS MY FATHER’S JOB) however I do recall the long drawn out lectures she would give me. I would practically beg for a quick spanking than to have to hear a ten minute story about what I had done wrong. This was back when standing in the corner was a frequent punishment. Now – a – days there is… TIME OUT.

I am not sure who came up with this idea. I have used the time out method on a foster child we had. He was so inventive, he could take a piece of paper and craft an army with it and play battle in the hall. He would take pieces of the carpet and make a rope. He actually enjoyed time outs so much I thought he got in trouble just to have alone time.

I know each child is different for lil sunshine thinks the world has ended if she has to do a time out. She will be silent for days afterwards, like she is punishing me back for doing such a thing to her.

But, as an adult, I enjoy my own time outs. That time when the world is silent and I am alone with my thoughts. I could vision a life of time out, but that seems alot like the monastaries that practice silence. Just food for thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

[to his teacher] “I’m 1 year old bitch but I KNOW not to take this note home.. this is an ass whoopin’ you’re pinning on my shirt.” — MIKE EPPS

“Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we’d all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!” — Redd Foxx

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off –  don’t worry, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard.” Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!

take ‘time out’ to laugh today

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s