beaver butt vanilla ice cream?

So, I was watching David Letterman last night because Jamie Oliver was on. I adore him…in a innocent non-stalking kind of way. He is very much to the point, has an interest in making the world a better place AND he is a darn good chef.

He was talking about why knowing about the food you eat is important..and then he dropped the bomb….Food additives in vanilla ice cream… So what? We all know we eat additives, right? Why research them? The FDA approved them, right?

Well..the next few words caused me to pause mid chew. Yes. Mid chew.

“Did you know that there are beaver’s anal glands in vanilla ice cream?” Jamie asked with a smirk. A very smirky smirk.

I thought it was a joke. Turns out? It’s not. Apparently someone decided that beaver anal glands enhanced sweets, including vanilla ice cream and many raspberry products. The substance can be found on your ice cream as castoreum; if it is in a small enough amount it does not have to be listed.

Have a little Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla, folks……

Beaver’s butt might be bad enough but you regularly, happily eat other stuff that is as bad or worse. And with the sketchy disclosure and label laws you don’t have to be told.

more…

~~~~~~~

(my questions begins with …who tried beaver anal glands as a food and found it helped their food taste better? How did the FDA think it was okay to use this product without regulating a rule that it should be listed on the ingredients? And… what about the chocolate ice cream? (do I really want to know?))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a beaver’s anal gland. It is the source of Beaver Butt Juice, officially called Castoreum, used in foods, cigarettes, perfumes, chewing gum.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beaver Butt Juice is officially called Castoreum. Look for it under “Natural Flavor” in your favorite food that the FDA (21 CFR 182.50) places “No Restrictions” on since it is GRAS.  See if you recognize these sources:

  • Alcoholic & Non-Alcoholic beverages (doesn’t that cover most all beverages?);
  • Baked goods (Baked “bads”?);
  • Chewing gum (makes the flavor last longer?);
  • Frozen Dairy (the 32nd Flavor?);
  • Gelatin (there’s always room for Beaver Butt Juice dessert);
  • Puddings (smooth & creamy Beaver Butt Juice)
  • Gravies (to be ladled over your Beaver Butt Biscuits –see “Baked Goods”)
  • Meat Products (heaven only knows what THIS category includes!)
  • Hard Candies (trick or treat takes on a whole new meaning!)
  • Soft Candies (how sweet it is!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what else are they putting in our food?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

What sets off the Christmas season better than songs and movies. Grandma got run over by a reindeer was first a song then a movie. There have been a lot of movies inspired this way. One of my Favorites is “Deck the Halls.” Of course we all know Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and there are many more. I hope that each and every one of you get to enjoy this christmas season. I know I will, having little ones seems to make christmas that much brighter, lord knows I have had my share of dark christmas’s.

Last year an elf must have been getting under the tree and unwrapping presents to see what we got the kids so Santa wouldn’t bring them the same thing. Cause they was unwrapped and re-wrapped horribly. Of course the kids blamed the cat.

But going to grandma’s for christmas is always the big thing here. Grandma always has toys for every one. Hope she doesn’t get run over by a reindeer this year. Load your shotguns and tie down your granny and hide the egg nog, cause Santa is a reckless driver. (grin)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.  At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”  To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is!”

“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`

Christmas Fireman

In a small Southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed   great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature  bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.  Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a “Quick Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
“See, it says right here,  ‘The three wise man came from afar.'”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A texas elf

have a merry ole day

cb radio

In case some of you don’t know, CB stands for citizen band. The channels/ radio frequency that are allowed by the government for citizens to use. While other frequencys are for other uses… (don’t ask/ top secret) but we use to have hours of fun with the CB radio as kids and when I was a truck driver well it is a must as a driver for imformation as well as a pass time while driving.

When I was a kid I had the CB handle (name) “Squirrel.”  We would play on the radio in my father’s car. I am sure he enjoyed this as much as we did just to have us out of the house. Then when I was older, truck driving, I went by the CB name “Grasshopper” as in the movie series, ‘Kung Fu.’

I remember when I was driving, being snowed in at a TA truck stop in Dayton Ohio. I couldn’t get my rig to move because the ice had built up on the pavement, frozen solid, one big parking lot of ice. I got on the CB to kill time and wait till it thawed and I could get moving again. One old timer laughed and told me it will be spring time before it thaws. I asked how in the hell am I gonna get this truck moving?

The guy called out on the CB radio PP911. i had no idea what this was. All of a sudden two, three, ten truckers show up and they start peeing on the drive tires to melt the ice. When the ice was melted they hollared get going. I was able to get enough traction to move the big rig out of the parking lot. I hollared on the radio, “Thanks much Amigos, keep it between the ditches and don’t pick up any bad… Bit*#es. The CB radio is a valuble tool when out on the road.

allow me to say this: give truckers a break, ever tried to drive the titanic down a two lane highway? Every thing you buy at the store was hauled by a truck at one time or another, think about that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young kid starting his first job as a waiter in a diner has a big trucker come in and sit down at the counter and order, The trucker says “Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights.” Bewildered the kid goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, “I think this guy’s in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!” The cook says, “He wants 3 Flapjacks and 2 eggs sunny-side up.” The waiter then takes a bowl of beans to the driver. He looks at it and growls, “What’s this? I didn’t order this!” The kid tells him, “The cook says that while you’re waiting for your parts you might as well gas up while your waiting!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man’s milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man’s plate before joining the others at the counter.

Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, “Not much of a man, was he?”

The waitress replied, Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads Low Bridge Ahead.

Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, “Looks like you got stuck, huh?”

The trucker replies sarcastically, No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of fuel!

a Bill Engval joke…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

have a truckin good time

 

John Wayne

John Wayne

Born: 1907  ……Died: 1979

My step father use to do John Wayne impressions. He was really good at this, mainly due to the fact he looked and walked like the movie star already. I remember the one line he always use to say, in his John Wayne voice…

“Gotta go down to the corral and wrestle me a grizzly and kiss me a pretty girl. I hope I don’t get them mixed up this time.” As kids we would laugh loudly and encourage him to do more.

My wife and I watched Mclintock the other day and we laughed at the part where John Wayne chased his wife all over town to spank her into submission. He catches her and draws a hand back to spank her and some one grabs his hand to stop him… only to place a scoop in his hand to paddle her with.

well, look what I found… this is the funny part (grin)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Wayne Toilet Paper

  An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.
“White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper,” says the Indian. “How much is it?”
“$1.00 a roll,” the clerk replies.
“That seems pretty expensive,” responds the Indian. “What about the others?”
“Charmin is $2.00 a roll and no name is 50 cents a roll.”
The Indian doesn’t have much money so he opts for the no name.
Within a few hours he is back at the trading post. “I have a name for the no name toilet paper,” he announces to the clerk. “We shall call it John Wayne.”
“Why?” asks the confused clerk.
“Cause it’s rough and it’s tough and it don’t take no crap off an Indian.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found these ‘John Wayne’ quotes

If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

***

I stick to simple themes. Love. Hate. No nuances. I stay away from psychoanalyst’s couch scenes. Couches are good for one thing.

***

I’ve always followed my father’s advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.

***

Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.

***

I never trust a man that doesn’t drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m John Wayne at the first thanksgiving, PILGRAMS! happy thanksgiving, PILGRAMS!”

 (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – Reportedly he used the expression “Pilgrim”, as in “tenderfoot” or “dude” or “amateur”, 23 times in that film. It became a catchphrase for impressionists such as John Byner, and Rich Little)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. John Wayne Bobbit was driving along when she threw her husbands dink out the window. Two guys were driving behind her when it suddenly landed on their windshield. One guy says to the other “Did you see that misquito.” and the other guy says “Misquito nothing, did you see the size of his DINK.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


….a man has got to have a code, a creed to live by….

have a memorable day


 

a good ‘Hare’ day

 

 

I remember when I was a kid going to Amarillo Texas for christmas to visit with my grand parents. They lived way out in the country and we would run around the back 4o for a lack of anything better to do. We would spook up a rabbit and chase it. The funny thing was these rabbits only ran a little ways and then would stop. It was like they knew we couldn’t catch them. We would run till we couldn’t run any longer and the rabbits would simply watch us walk back to grandma’s tired.

My son raised a rabbit, his name was thumper because he would thump the ground, strangest thing. I think all rabbits do this like deer and horses paw the earth. I suppose my funniest and favorite recolection of rabbits come from the film, Bambi. Where thumper gets twitterpated. I still get twitterpated (grinin’)

Does any one out there remember ‘Hairy’ the six foot invisible rabbit? I still remember watching that when I was a kid. With Jimmy Stewart and his unique comedian way of acting, the funny thing is that wasn’t acting that was how he was in real life. And what was that christmas movie he was in?

… It’s a wonderful life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A married couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman’s biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and true to his word, he made contact with his wife.

“Mary…Mary….”

“Is that you Fred?”

“Yes, I have come back like we agreed.”

“What is it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex, I bask in the sun, then I have sex-twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. Supper, then sex till late at night. Sleep then start all over again.”

“Oh, Fred, you surely must be in heaven!”

“No, Mary, I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.

She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, “I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight.”

So the lady gives him the pole and he says, “That pole is worth $45.” She was amazed at how cheap that was.

So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, “This pole is worth $55.” she decided that was also really cheap.

And then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, “This pole is our best and it is $70.” she told him that she would take it.

As she was getting the fishing pole all rung up, she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn’t matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose.

All of a sudden the man says, “It all comes up to $80.”

Confused the lady says to him, “But you said the fishing pole was only $70.”

He said, “It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t think this was the 60’s … maybe the 70’s

now that’s one big bunny… and this is one scarey hare

………………………..now this easter bunny looks scarey……………..

……………………………………..well, I love tigers so I really liked this one

have a hare-raising day

 

Hong Kong Phooey

I watched Hong Kong Phooey growing up. I was boxing and studying Akido before I was 9, on the air force base in Panama. So I grew up partial to martial arts. I even became partial to asian martial art films when I was growing up and I would actually turn the volume down and make up words as the movie went along. It was easier to endure than watching their mouths move differently than the dialect. Which has become a comedians favorite criticism.

I was suprised the other day when my daughter came home from school and changed the channel (her T.V. time, till 6:00 pm then it is family T.V. time, which usually means ‘Two and a half men.’) but there it was, Hong Kong Phooey still aired, After all these years it is still on television, I think it won’t be long and it will be a movie. Hey, they’ve made a movie about nearly everything else.

So while I was researching this for this post I find out that Eddie Murohy is going to be/ or is the new voice for Hong Kong Phooey, so, is there a movie coming? …. this is what I found… Here!

@ Spill.com

Any goodwill that Eddie Murphy may engender with his return to adult humor in the upcoming comedy ‘Tower Heist’ may very well soon be flushed away with the actor’s return to voice acting in the *shudder* live-action/CG hybrid ‘Hong Kong Phooey’. That’s right, the ‘Shrek’ and ‘Mulan’star has signed on to Alcon Entertainment’s adaptation of the short-lived Hanna Barbera cartoon series about a lowly janitor dog who becomes a kung fu-fighting hero. 

While the original cartoon only lasted a single 16-episode season, the character has remained a persistent fixture in pop culture in the years since. The cartoon centered around mild-mannered Penrod “Penry” Pooch – a lowly janitor at the local police department under the strict eye of Sargeant “Sarge” Flint. When danger called, Penry would leap into a nearby filing cabinet and transform into Hong Kong Phooey, the not-at-all-racist (and extremely accident-prone) crimefighter. Originally voiced by vocal talent extraordinaire Scatman Crothers (aka Jazz the Autobot in the original Transformers cartoon), in this new version Murphy will supply the voice for a regular, ordinary dog who accidentally stumbles into a secret ceremony and is granted mystical powers, including the ability to walk, talk and do kung fu. Under the guidance of his master, Penry dons a costume and fights crime alongside his cat sidekick, Spot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

army brat

Happy Veterans Day

11-11-11

It’s no big secret that my father was in the service when I was born and there-fore I was born in Japan. I live in East-Texas so my wife calls me a Japanese-redneck. Just in case you’re wondering, I am full blooded American with some Indian in me so me and fire-water don’t do well together. My niece made me proud going to the army and came back a lesbian and she is damn proud of it too. I support our troops and all they stand for. My wife donates to everything under the sun that pertains to the troops. My father-in-law was in Korea and My friend down the street was in Vietnam (that place really messes with a man) I think that the military touches each and every one of us in one way or another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: “So how are your men?”

“Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie.”

“I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they’re the bravest men all over the country.” “Well, my men are very brave, too.”

“I’d like to see that.”

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: “Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!”

“Are you crazy? It’d kill me, you idiot! I’m out of here!” As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

“You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.”

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.

The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ’em, huh sir?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you — please keep your photo and return the others.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane…only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

knock, knock

“who’s there?”

American firepower

Happy Veterans Day

I salute you