barber shop blues

 

My mother was a beautician all her life and even had her own beauty shop till she became old enough to retire and sold her shop. For awhile I would get her to cut my hair at her house till she just got to where she didn’t want to do hair any more due to her age.

I bought sheers and did my own hair for a long time till I realized I wasn’t doing a very good job, but I always wore a cap so no one really noticed. I finally broke down and got my hair cut where I work. You might think that odd but you must consider where I work; a prison, and the barbers are inmates in training. But the majority of the people who work there get their hair cut there because of the cost. Is it worth the risk, I asked myself? So I finally gave in.

The first time I got my hair cut there I admit I was a little nervous, having a prisoner with a pair of scissors around my head and neck. But the truth of the matter is they do good work. I just ensure that they are in a good mood the day I get my hair cut. I went in the other day and the inmate that does my hair was bitchin about all sorts of things and so I asked him, “Are you upset?”

“Yes,” was his reply. So I left and waited a couple days and then went back. I went in and asked.

“You in a better mood today?”

He replied, “Yeah,” so I got my hair cut. I wasn’t about to allow an angry inmate with scissors in his hand to be any where near my throat. (grin) He apologized for his being upset the other day and I assured him, “That’s okay, but perhaps you should put a sign in the window,”…..;

Bad hair day; get your hair cut at your own risk!

Art~

Last night they had the show, “Amazing race,” on. They were in Africa and near the end they had this African on that had his hair in spikes. I told my daughter she should get her hair done like that and she replied, “No thank you.”

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 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to
 his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.  Watch
 while I prove it to you.”

 The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
 in the other,  then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do
 you want, son?”  The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

 “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never
 learns!”
 

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store.  “Hey, son!  May I ask you a question?  Why did you
take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar,
the game’s over!”

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A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter, “I think I will have the turtle soup.”

The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind to pea soup. He yells to the waiter, “Hold the turtle; make it pea.”

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                           -(o o)-
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A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has had getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client placed the ball in his mouth, and the barber proceeded with the closest shave the man had ever experienced.

After a few strokes, the client asked in garbled speech. “And what if I swallow it?” “No problem,” said the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!”

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A man and a boy entered a barber’s shop together.  After
 the man had received a shave and a haircut, he sat the
 boy in the chair and said, “I’m just going to run next
 door to pick up a few things from the supermarket.  I’ll
 be back in a few minutes.”

 When the boy’s hair was cut and the man still hadn’t
 returned, the barber said, “It looks like your dad’s
 forgotten you.”

 “That wasn’t my dad,” said the boy.  “He just walked up,
 took me by the hand and said, “Come on, we’re going to
 get a free haircut.”

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Hoping you have a good hair day

 

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Fish Warrior

I have a scanner that I was going to hook up yesterday, Saturday, so I can place some of my OWN art work on my blogs; Fishin for Chuckles and zendictive. Then there was a knock on the door. A good friend of mine and co-worker stopped by and said, ‘Hey, you wanta go fishing?”

Well. that’s like asking a kid if he wants to go to Dairy Queen, “Sure!” Of course we only have to walk into my back yard, where the river is and started throwing out our lines. We caught some whopping 3 inchers, no bigger than a minute. But, there were 7 keepers for the morning, total. Not, bad, it made a bag of fillets.

Ole Jerry’s a character to say the least, and a delight to fish with. We talked about work, life and liberty… (where has that gone). Told a joke or two, and fished. Well that means I have to tell you about the alligator.

Last year we were fishing the pond out at the prison (I call it the ten acre pond) a reservoir that holds water for the farm fields/crops. It has been there nearly forty years and holds some large bass, catfish and crappie. I had snagged a bass. A really big fish, there are three alligators that swim freely in this pond. I assume they keep them there to keep the inmates from thinking about using the pond for an escape; in any way, shape or form.

I am reeling this big bass in and this alligator comes over for a closer look. Probably about, 70 yards out. I get this fish hung up in the under water moss and vegetation. Well I really want this fish, so I proceed to wade out into the water, knee deep and try and get this fish. I tell ole’ Jerry, “Let me know if that gator gets closer.” No sooner do I say that and Jerry tells me this gator’s coming closer.

I tell him, “I’ll fight that gator for this fish and wade out even farther. Waist deep in the water, Jerry tells me that the gator went under water. Can’t be seen any more. I reach out and pull the fish free from the weeds and walk back to shore, not knowing where this gator went. But, I caught an 8 pound bass and didn’t get eaten by a curious alligator. If I can get this scanner working I’ll post a picture of it here. Jerry has bobbers where the alligator actually came and took a taste of it, then spit it out.

After Jerry left yesterday, I go inside and clean the fish. The wife and I were watching the new show, “Fish Warrior,’ this guy is from Czech… and goes around catching the worlds biggest fresh water fish. He caught a 200 pound catfish which was impressive but then he sticks his hand in the catfishes mouth, down its throat and pulls out what it has been eating. WHAT THE? It eats fish! There’s being scientific then there is being; an idgit. (idgit; not quite an idiot but not fully grow’d mentally)

 They then showed where this ‘Fish Warrior’ came to the Trinity river and caught alligator gar. I swear it looked like they passed me and Jerry up in their boat, on T.V. They even use a lasso to bring the Gar into the boat, yep, they call it Texas fishing.

Well, that was my Saturday. The wife got on the computer, I laid down on the couch and believe it or not, I slept 4 hours. Wow, I never do that. I suppose the work load and stress as been great lately (fishing is hard work )and I needed the extra zone time. But, thanks to Ole Jerry, I got a bounty of fish to add to the freezer. And there is a new saturday fishing show, Fish Warrior.

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here he is on the Trinity river with his alligator gar