pick up lines

Okay, be honest, cheesey pick up lines are cute. Do they work? Well, they certainly break the ice. I like the one, “Turn your knob down. Would you like for me to turn your knob down… your switch… your knob… you know, your  cutness knob is turned on high!”

or, “Do your feet hurt? Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night!”

and of course another that I have used, “Did it hurt when you fell? Cause your an angel and it is a long fall from heaven!” Mostly I throw these out to get good service from waitress’s… well it worked on my wife (grin)


I worked with some younger emplyoees the other day and this one lady said, “Your the shit!” Well, I wondered what I did wrong and eventually asked her what was wrong cause I thought we were working well together. She informed me that now a days, “The Shit.” is a good thing. I was relieved cause when I grew up… ‘the shit’ … stunk!

If I had a garden, I’d put your Tulips and my Tulips together…

I just moved you to the top of my ‘To Do’ list…

Is your Dad a terrorist? Cause you’re Da’ bomb!

what has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?  My Zipper!

Hey baby, you must be a General, cause you’re making my privates stand at attention!

Can I take your picture? So I can show folks what I want for Christmas!

How about you and I find a dark-room and see what developes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘u’ and ‘I’ together.

Is that a mirror in your pocket cause I see myself in your pants.

I may not be Fred Flinstone but I bet I can make your Bed Rock!


 want to make a lampshade out of your skin… cause you light up my life!



I was at work and this young lady said that; “I was the shit,” I didn’t want to seem offended so I went on cause we were telling stories and jokes and making a good day out of having to work. Then I told another zen story and this young lady repeated her statement saying, “Mr. Campbell you are the shit!”

I thought about it a moment and replied, “That is twice you have called me shit, there will not be third.” That was when she told me that shit ‘now’-a-says” is a good thing. I had to tell her that when I grew up, shit was not a good thing… in fact it stinks.

On another occasion I asked a young man what he was doing. He told me he was “whacked,” I wasn’t sure what this meant so I had to ask. He told me he was flirting with this lady. I replied that he should have said, “I’m flirting. Cause when I was growing up, ‘whacked’ meant you just got hit with something.”

I suppose every generation creates new words to mean different things, I remember when ‘sup’ was short for supper and cool was groovey and MAN was just another way of saying OMG.


so, as always I do my research and I found these to be the most interesting…


Aussie Kiss
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Beaver Leaver
or Vagina Decliner.

one-handed reading material.

Trying to draw a smile on a woman’s face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Monkey Bath
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: “Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!”.

Sperm Wail
or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

A lady who goes down first time out.

The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.
Budgie’s Tongue
or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag. The female erection.

here are some words you gotta know living in the south…

FARN – adjective.Not local.
Usage: “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed… must be from some farn country.”

HEIDI – noun.Greeting.