I remember the good ole days when you arrived at the airport 15 minutes till your flight and ran up, bought a ticket and then ran to the terminal and got on the plane. No more! I took my father-in-law to the airport one hour and fifteen minutes before his flight and he nearly missed the flight due to the lines to be searched. Security is never convenient.
Allegedly a true story from the old airport in Denver: a major airline had cancelled a very busy flight and a lone check-in agent is busy trying to sort out all the displaced passengers. A very angry and aggressive man barges his way to the front of the queue to confront her. He says says that he is flying first class and demands to go on the flight.
The agent politely explains the situation and asks that people take their place in the queue.
The man bellows at her, “Do you know who I am?” – at which the agent calmly picks up the microphone for the PA system, and announces to the airport,
“This is (airline name) desk 64; we have a gentleman here who does not know who he is. If anyone can come and identify him please do so.”
The man, now purple with rage, yells at her, “Well f**k you..” – to
which the agent replies, “And you’ll have to stand in line for that as well, Sir..”
According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration stopped immediately.
A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: “Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active.”
Ground: “Good Morning, taxi to your gate.” The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, ground, I’m looking up the gate location now.”
Ground (impatiently): “Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, in 1944. But I didn’t stop”.
Have a nice flight